Today after dinner Macie grabbed this necklace and wanted to see Grampy. Not an uncommon occurrence, but tonight brought a twist.
She pulled his picture to her and said "I miss you Grampy. I lub you Grampy."
And then she kissed his face.
I lost it. Somehow, she gets it. She misses him too.
As my brain sifted through the coming memories of our lives that she would miss sharing with him, I wept. She said "Mommy Cry."
"Yes Baby Girl. Mommy cries. She misses Grampy too. Everyday."
They have a special bond. They just always did. I am not sure how, or why, but I believe he and God speaks to me through her.
We prayed for him daily after he was diagnosed. Towards the end, even when we didn't know yet that the tumor was back, she started saying "Pray Grampy. Bye Bye Grampy." I knew in my heart of hearts that she knew what I was denying. That his time left with us was short.
She loved him and called him "Googa googa" after he always said "Booga Booga" to her when she would swing at his house.
At the time of this video, he was about a week from being diagnosed. We knew he was in pain but hoped for an ulcer or bum gallbladder. Little did we know...
But in my heart I knew this video would become my most precious and favorite...I knew the very moment I was recording it, it would become priceless.
I cannot even begin to think of all the things she has said and knows, but here are a few that stand out.
When he was home on hospice, a dear friend brought him a big happy face balloon. Macie and her cousins loved it. One day recently while we were shopping at the dollar store she saw one. She suddenly yelled out "Gampy bawoooon! Mommy! looka! At's Gampy bawooon!"
Of course I bought it.
Next at the grocery store, another balloon and again she said "Ooooooh! Gampy bawoon!" I still wonder what the lady in the deli thought when she saw me weep.
At TGI Fridays eating when mom was here with us a couple of weeks ago, there was a happy face above our table. I would have never seen it, it was up so high. But Macie did. "Oooooh Grampy bawoon!" Reminding us that he was with us there too.
It has become a comforting thing whenever she says "Gampy Bawooooon!" when she sees a happy face anywhere, her little stamper, a happy face top toy from Maddie and Hannah's birthday party, a book, anywhere. I believe God has used her little eye for those happy faces to remind me that my Daddy is OK.
And he is HAPPY.
Many times she has also said "Gampy with Jewus. Gampy eat ice cream!"
She made Grampy build something with ALL the legos.
She wanted him to pick her up so badly. But by the end of October when we visited he was too weak from Chemo and the tumor returning. She settled for laying her head on his leg.
Their indescribably special bond reminds me that he is ok. And is most definitely eating ice cream with Jesus.
And we will be ok too.